My servant, Greenberg, will be leaving this weekend for Sin City. I am disappointed, but have faith -- yes, even the omniscient have faith -- that he will behave himself. He tells me he only goes for the gambling, and mainly poker at that.
You're surprised that I approve of such seemingly sinful behavior? That's because games of chance are one of those unnecessary taboos for the godly.
Show Me one place in My holy book where I forbid gambling. (Also not in the Bible, promises that if you give your SS check to a televangelist, I will reward you with a new Cadillac.) My ministers will say you should be a good steward of what you're given and should not attempt to get rich quick or fall in love money. And these words of wisdom are very true. Compulsive gambling, pseudo-professional gambling, these are behaviors I can't approve. But gambling as affordable entertainment -- to rip the industry's motto -- that's something I would, er, bet on.
I'm not a gambler myself. If I was, you could imagine a scenario like the premise of "Back to the Future Part II": old Biff brings back a sports almanac from 2015, which his younger self uses to bet on sports and become wildly rich. But I don't need an almanac from the future, and I already own the whole universe.
Have fun, Greenberg. You owe Me.
Friday, June 20, 2008
Tuesday, June 10, 2008
Ten Commandments
"Thou shalt have none other gods before me."
"Keep the sabbath day to sanctify it."
"Thou shalt not kill. Neither shalt thou commit adultery. Neither shalt thou steal."
I don't mean to kvetch, but are these five commandments, and the others I gave you, really so hard to follow?
There are 613 mitzvot, but only Ten Commandments. And, despite what you may have heard or seen on the big screen -- "The Lord Jehovah has given unto you these fifteen..." Moses on film proclaimed before dropping and shattering of one of three tablets. "Oy!... Ten! Ten Commandments! For all to obey!" -- there were only Ten Commandments.
Moses had a stutter, but he was no klutz. And Mel Brooks was one of my better comedic creations, but he's no historian.
There were other commandments I could have included -- caring for the poor, protecting My physical creation -- but I knew 10 would be challenging enough. Coveting is pleasurable and lying can get you out of a bind. But they only amplify your problems. I, of course, knew this.
It is not (always) my nature to anger; I have been incredibly patient. And yet too many see burden where I offered a gift. I spent a lot of time working on these Ten Commandments, knowing that without them the Israelites would follow there flighty hearts. Remember, what Moses found when he returned from Mount Sinai with My Law: My chosen people worshiping a golden calf fashioned by his own brother who would become My first priest.
So while a minority of you spent last night reciting Torah and thanking Me for delivering The Law unto them, too many ingrates ignored My benevolence.
(God's Blog is a new addition to The God Blog. For details, click here and here.)
"Keep the sabbath day to sanctify it."
"Thou shalt not kill. Neither shalt thou commit adultery. Neither shalt thou steal."
I don't mean to kvetch, but are these five commandments, and the others I gave you, really so hard to follow?
There are 613 mitzvot, but only Ten Commandments. And, despite what you may have heard or seen on the big screen -- "The Lord Jehovah has given unto you these fifteen..." Moses on film proclaimed before dropping and shattering of one of three tablets. "Oy!... Ten! Ten Commandments! For all to obey!" -- there were only Ten Commandments.
Moses had a stutter, but he was no klutz. And Mel Brooks was one of my better comedic creations, but he's no historian.
There were other commandments I could have included -- caring for the poor, protecting My physical creation -- but I knew 10 would be challenging enough. Coveting is pleasurable and lying can get you out of a bind. But they only amplify your problems. I, of course, knew this.
It is not (always) my nature to anger; I have been incredibly patient. And yet too many see burden where I offered a gift. I spent a lot of time working on these Ten Commandments, knowing that without them the Israelites would follow there flighty hearts. Remember, what Moses found when he returned from Mount Sinai with My Law: My chosen people worshiping a golden calf fashioned by his own brother who would become My first priest.
So while a minority of you spent last night reciting Torah and thanking Me for delivering The Law unto them, too many ingrates ignored My benevolence.
(God's Blog is a new addition to The God Blog. For details, click here and here.)
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